Here I go again...I've been waiting for my bestfriend to go online the whole day and now that he is we can't discusse anything with sense. Have tried to open some topics but I get the feeling that he is not into it nor interested to talk to me. As if there is a gap between us or most likely a line that neither of us can cross. He is unsually quiet...it takes ages before he reply back and his reply is just composed of 3 to 4 words max. Should I ask if something is up? or am I just paranoid that he is not excited to talk to me. Have I harrassing him lately with all my complains about my work? Do he get the feeling that it always been about me?

Now I'm questioning myself well, doubting is more appropriate. Am I being so self -centered? Have I ignoring him? I know everything is not about me but am I showing people through my action that it is all about me?

I can't write now my mind is racing with senarios and things that confuses me. I should stop this nonsense, I know deep inside that it is going to hurt me one of these days. I can't continue with this feeling of depending on him. I suppose I should accept that he is not my bestfriend anymore, he can't be by myside when I need him, he is now restricted,...we are now both restricted. I should stop. I should just go back to where we are before. No communication, no confusion, no him and me, there is no more place for us. We cannot live in one world, there is him and there is me in two separate worlds we will not be able to co-exist without possibly hurting other people. It will not work and I will just hurt him, if I'm not already hurting him now.  I should stop... I really should stop.